Why I buy myself flowers on Valentines Day
February 14th Valentines day…. how do you feel when you see the date in your calendar? Or when you see posts on social media about the day? Maybe you feel pressure to show your loved ones how much you love them or how much they love you or maybe you just try and avoid the day completely!?!
How can a single day encapsulate what it means to be loved and to connect with others - yet we can be left feeling that we are somehow not measuring up or deserving if we don’t have a romantic partner or people showing this on one day of the year through a big romantic gesture.
For me personally I see it as a mass-marketing money-grabbing excuse of a day but maybe that’s my cynical heart speaking! haha In all seriousness, we can be left feeling unloved and unseen or that that love we are offering someone else doesn’t match up to how everyone is showing their love and appreciation…
So that is why I buy myself flowers on Valentines! I started doing this a number of years ago – a way of reclaiming the narrative that someone else needs to show me how much they love me and for me to own my love and appreciation of myself. Yes, the flowers may be overpriced (I buy them from the local supermarket usually a day or so before) but it’s also my way of saying I don’t need someone else to buy flowers for me – I can buy them for myself. We can take control of the day and choose how we feel about ourselves. We can show ourselves love and care in small, loving ways that can reinforce the belief that we deserve care and love, and that we can provide that for ourselves first.
So I wonder how do you show yourself love and kindness? What are the way in which you are reminding yourself that you have value and worth with or without a romantic partner? Love comes in all shapes and sizes, whether that be with a romantic partner, with friends, pets but most of all how we show love and care to ourselves. You don’t have to buy yourself flowers on valentines day but can you show yourself some love and care? Valentine’s day can serve as a reminder that you can and deserve to show yourself kindness and consideration.
Maybe re-reading a favourite book or buying a new one that you’ve had your eye on for a while, starting a new hobby or buying something small towards an existing interest. Enjoying a colouring book, listen to a podcast that sparks creativity or feels comforting, go for a walk and truly stop to notice the sounds and smells and sights around you, dance around to your favourite music. Arrange a galen-tines, bake or cook your favourites foods, get in touch with a friend or family member to say hi, have a coffee date, sleep in freshly washed sheets, reach out for support. Yes, these are all things that have been talked about time and time again, but there’s a reason small gentle, easy steps make a difference. They are manageable and can create a meaningful reminder to ourselves – when we choose to find things/ways that bring us contentment.
We can feel very much alone on a day that proclaims to be about love but we can flip the narrative - how can I be there for myself?, show up for myself, not just on one day of the year but every day in small ways that reminds myself I have value and worth and build your belief and confidence in yourself?
Therapy is also a great way to show yourself love and kindness – finding out more about who you are and what matters to you – breaking old beliefs that you aren’t worth loving or your fears about relationships or that don’t deserve to be loved.
